I’m sat here writing this from my bed, laid up with testicles that feel like they’re the size of Melons. And the Melons, they’re throbbing.

This morning I went and had a Vasectomy. A simple and mostly painless operation which takes no more than 15 minutes and requires only a local anaesthetic.

Why am I telling you this you may ask, well because I feel inclined to communicate ‘something’ given the general response I had prior to the operation from other men.

The general consensus seems to be that in having a Vasectomy you somehow permanently give up some of your manlihood, that the operation will be painful and that you will be shaved prior to the op by a very attractive nurse, leading to a somewhat embarrassing situation. None of this is true.

I’ll admit that although I was very ‘gun ho’ in the week leading up to my op, this morning as my wife drove me to the surgical centre I felt somewhat nervous. More than anything I was nervous about stripping off in front of a couple of complete strangers, I guess because it’s not something us blokes really do with great frequency. Women on the other hand are pretty much at ease with anyone taking a look at their bits having gone through child birth a few times and the regular ‘smear tests’ that we have here in the UK.

On arriving at the centre I had a short consultation with the nurse, she asked the usual medical questions and gave me some information on recovery.

3 months after the op you have to provide 2 samples to confirm that there are no longer any traces of sperm in your semen. If the results are negative then you’re given the OK and you’re good to go, if not then you may have to return for a 2nd operation. If I remember correctly there’s a 1 in 750 chance that the op might be unsuccessful. Pretty good odds I think.

Soon I was called in to see the Doctor, this was it, the moment I had been dreading.

The Doctor seemed a nice chap and was very conversational, I was asked to strip from the waist down and lie on the operating table. After a quick inspection to verify that I did indeed have 2 testicles the Doctor injects the first anaesthetic into my right testicle, this was much less painful that I was expecting.

After a minute or so has passed the incision is made, I really couldn’t feel a thing at this stage though the doctor talked me through what he was doing, making the incision a couple of inches below the base of the penis and then snipping the tube that runs from the right testicle. At this stage I’m starting to feel like less of a pansy and I manage to relax a little more.

With the right testicle done the Doctor injects the 2nd anaesthetic. For some obscure reason this one really smarts, but I grit my teeth and it’s done before I know it. The Doctor snips my left testicle tube and sets about closing the incision.

A few minutes pass and we’re done. So much less painful than I was expecting. I have to wear snug fitting underwear for a few days and try to rest up as much as possible but that’s it.

I’m told that it will feel a little like I’ve been kicked in the balls for a couple of days and there will be some visible bruising.

So, if you’ve been putting ‘the snip’ off, there’s really nothing to worry about, regardless of what you might have heard. :)